Friday, November 30, 2012

Negotiation Skills for Business

Every time we engage in conversation with another individual we are generally negotiating a view, discussion or action. Everyone has different filters from which they perceive the world or their surroundings. These filters are developed throughout one's life as they grow from a child to an adult. Some of the main influences that can develop one's filters are parents, friends, family, social environment, religion, school and experience. As these filters are molded every individual brings a different view point to a negotiation or business discussion. Understanding the angle or view of an individual with whom you are negotiating is key to laying the foundation to work towards a viable solution.

One of the more widely known methods of understanding human negotiation psychology is the Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument, also known as the (TKI). This model asserts that an individual's behavior falls along two basic dimensions: assertiveness - the extent to which the individual attempts to satisfy his or her own concerns and cooperativeness - the extent to which the individual attempts to satisfy the other's person's concerns. This instrument then places an individual into five different style methods when it comes to dealing with conflict.

The first negotiation style is competing. Competing is an assertive and uncooperative, power-oriented style. Most individuals that fall into this category tend to pursue their own interests at the expense of other's using whatever methods they can to win the negotiation. The next style is collaborating. Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative. When collaborating, an individual attempts to work with other individuals to find a solution that fully satisfies the concerns of both. It involves digging into an issue to identify the underlying concerns of the two individuals to find an alternative that meets both sets of concerns. Collaborating between two individuals can take the form of exploring a disagreement to learn from each other's insights, resolving some condition that would otherwise have them competing for resources, or confronting and trying to find a creative solution to their conflict.

Negotiation Skills for Business

The next style is compromising. Compromising is generally right in the middle of the assertiveness and cooperativeness dimensions. When compromising, parties look to seek a mutually acceptable solution that can benefit all parties involved. Compromising might mean splitting the difference, exchanging concessions, or seeking a common ground position. However, compromising can also mean that both parties are giving up something to meet on the middle ground and this is not always a positive.

Another type of style is avoiding. Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative. When avoiding, an individual does not immediately pursue his or her own concerns or those of the other person. The individual is generally side-stepping the true conflict at hand. They generally find ways to withdraw or postpone an issue to avoid a threatening or intense situation. The last style of the five mentioned in TKI model is accommodating. The accommodating style is generally unassertive and cooperative. Generally, an individual that has an accommodating style will neglect his or her own concerns to satisfy the concerns of others. An accommodating style will just accept the view or stance of others and does not try too hard to push their own objectives onto others.

Once an individual identifies what method of negotiation they often fall into, then they can begin to understand what some of their strengths and weaknesses may be during a negotiation. All the different styles or methods have different strengths and weaknesses associated with them.

Competing can be valuable at times when a decisive action is needed and that individual is not afraid to take control of the situation and make an immediate decision. However, some of the negatives of this style are that a lot of the competing individuals always fight for influence and respect. They may not even have the best solution or not know the answer but often push their opinion on others and act more confident that they feel. This style or method can also cause those around you to inquire less about information or opinions and everyone will be less likely to learn from the negotiation or conflicts.

Collaborating seems to be one of the more effective negotiation methods. The main strength of the collaborative style is that they generally find integrative solutions and adhere to the concerns of both parties because they understand that some items may be too important to compromise. This style can also be very good at merging insights from a variety of people with very different perspectives on an issue or problem. This method can also be viewed as a style that still is able to accomplish all their objectives without rolling over the other parties involved. They are able to gain commitment by incorporating everyone's concerns into a consensual decision.

The weaknesses in this style are fairly limited. However, every negotiation or conflict is different so there will always be times when one method will be better suited for that negotiation. The weakness in always collaborating during a negotiation is that it can take a lot of time and effort. There may be situations where you do not have the luxury of time and effort. Some negotiations don't require advanced solutions or the time it can take to understand the ultimate goals and viewpoint of every individual involved in the negotiation.

Everyone has heard the old saying that it is always best to compromise. However, when truly analyzing this method more in depth that may not always be the case. In a compromise all parties involved are giving up something to help the other achieve their goal. Even in a compromise where the results are considered to be Pareto optimal, individuals would still have to give up some of their ultimate goal to have all the others achieve the optimal position for all parties involved. This style can also lead some to unintended costly compromises of principles, values, long-term objectives, or company welfare. The main benefit of this style as many are aware is that it often satisfies the needs of all parties involved in the negotiation. It can also be a good way to achieve a quick resolution to a complex issue.

Avoiding generally has more of a negative connotation to it than some of the other negotiation styles. However, there can be at times, some advantages to the avoidance method of conflict. This can be a viable way to solve a conflict or negotiation if the potential costs of confronting a conflict outweigh the benefits of its resolution. It can also be used if an issue is not important enough to address and time will be wasted if the negotiation about the issue even begins to ensue.

Last but not least in the methods of negotiating is accommodating. Accommodating can often help a negotiation in the future because if one accommodates to others' needs initially they may be viewed very favorable right away by the others involved. Accommodators are also good at reading situations and can realize when they are wrong. They often can allow better positions or decisions to be considered, able to learn from others and demonstrate that they are caring and reasonable to others needs. However, if one is always accommodating then they may be sacrificing many of their beliefs or ultimate goals just to appease the other parties involved.

After one begins to understand the method or style he or she may fall into then it is time to understand the some of the steps needed to reach an agreement. The first step is to understand everyone's goals or objectives. After one is able to understand the other parties motives than they can begin to understand the needs of each individual and starting negotiating towards a common ground. A key in beginning to uncover an individual's needs and form a common ground is to start to ask some open ended questions.

After gaining a strong understanding of the other parties needs then we can begin to understand how closely their needs fall in line with our objectives. In a lot of situations you can start by gaining agreement on a collaborative effort to solve the problem and fulfilling each party's needs. Then once trust has been established and the other party understands that you are not only searching to obtain your own objectives but also helping them to reach theirs it will become easier to negotiate more of the greater details.

The next step after understanding the other party's needs and working towards a common ground is to start surveying the options available to you. An option can be a possible agreement or part of an agreement that can satisfy either party's objectives. By beginning to explore different options both parties will be able to see different solutions to the problem coming to the table. When you create different options you are create value to the negotiation and building blocks to move the negotiation further down the continuum.

Most of the best negotiations are those in which a number of options have been explored. The first resolution to a conflict is not always accepted and not necessarily the best option for all parties involved. The more options that are generated, the greater the chance that one of them will mutually and effectively satisfy the differing needs of all parties involved. Often, by understanding each other's needs, one can begin to formulate some possible ways to execute a strategy that better solutions and give you some more creative bargaining power.

The key behind developing options in a negotiation is to take organized approach at understanding each parties needs and creating a range of options that can fulfill most of them. To do this one must always come to a negotiation with an open mind. If you do not try to understand the other individual's viewpoints then you will never be effectively working towards a strategy that will fulfill both of your goals. The more options you begin to create, the more room or leverage you will have in that negotiation. To create these options you have to continually remind yourself of the needs and common grounds of the other party and also remember to take into account differences in perception or the filters that were mentioned in the beginning of this paper.

The next items to understand in creating options are timing and risk. Some individuals enjoy the rush of risk and have to make tough decisions in a limited amount of time while others cannot stand the idea of it. Everyone has a different tolerance for risk and they are also different on the speed in which they operate, take action and make decisions. When dealing with any of these scenarios in a negotiation the best action is to try and accommodate the timing involved in the decisions that have to be made.

According to Roger Fisher and Danny Ertel, authors of Getting Ready to Negotiate, when people have several of something, they value the last one somewhat less than those that came before. Fisher and Ertel also state that differences in the marginal value to each party, of some of the goods under negotiation, can create opportunities to improve the overall value they each receive. There is no guarantee that these value creating trade-offs will work in every negotiation. However, if one strives to create good options, prepare in advance, and carefully consider opportunities that create value, then possibilities will become available.

As described by William Ury in his book, Getting Past No, an independent standard is a measuring stick that allows us to decide what a fair solution is. Some common standards include: market value, fair and equal treatment, laws, precedents that have been established in the past. Standards can be utilized when one begins to work or negotiate with a new customer. By establishing certain standards it can help to form the common ground in the negotiation that was mentioned earlier in the paper. Without setting standards the negotiation can have no boundaries and will only make it more difficult to come to a viable solution.

Negotiations always differ in complexity and content. Understanding the different style or methods used by different individuals will help to identify their needs and wants. After understanding the needs and wants it is then time to form the common ground. Once common ground is established in the negotiation then it is time to present the options that will help all parties involved achieve their most viable solutions. Keeping an open mind and always trying to understand the argument from the other individuals' viewpoint will always help achieve the main objectives in a negotiation. A good quote by John Lubbock encompasses a lot about negotiations, "what we see depends mainly on what we look for." By keeping an open mind during any negotiation one may be able to find new possibilities that he or she did not even know existed.

Negotiation Skills for Business
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Works Cited

Roger Fisher and Danny Ertel. Getting Ready to Negotiate. Penguin Books. 1995.
K. Thomas and R. Killman, The Conflict Mode Instrument. (Tuxedo Park, NY: XICOM, 1974). Negotiation 6th Edition. Roy J Lewicki, David M. Saunders, Bruce Barry.
Ury, William. Getting past No. Bantam Books. 1993.

This article was written by Jeff Shjarback.
http://www.tradestock.net

Monday, November 26, 2012

What's the Difference Between a Negotiation, Arbitration, and Mediation?

Negotiation. Involves two or more parties who are engaged in direct discussions with each other in a concerted effort of reaching an agreement. Both parties use persuasion and influence to get the other party to see things their way.

Example:

 A buyer and a salesman are negotiating a price for a car.

What's the Difference Between a Negotiation, Arbitration, and Mediation?

 A wife is negotiating with her husband over use of finances.

 A president is negotiating with another country's leader to remove missile silos that threaten the security of the nation.

Arbitration. This is a form of resolving conflict that is handled outside of court where both parties come before a neutral third-party. The neutral third-party is usually a lawyer and the arbitrator listens to both sides and then passes judgment on a winner and a loser in much the same way as a judge does.

Example:

 Two employees are having issues with each other. They take these issues to the boss. The boss hears both sides and then decides to fire one of the employees.

 Two siblings are having a fight and the mother gets involved. The mother hears what they have to say, and of course both siblings are pointing fingers at the other side. The mother decides to ground them both.

Mediation. Similar to negotiation, but mediation involves the use of a neutral third-party who assists the negotiating parties in reaching an agreement. Mediation is used typically when direct negotiations have failed because the mediator can separate the people from the problem much easier than the stakeholders can.

Example

 A buyer purchases a used car from a seller. The car breaks down soon after. The buyer demands his money back. The seller accuses the buyer of damaging the car himself. Instead of dealing with the matter in court, which can be both costly and time-consuming for both parties, they instead agree to hire a mediator and work out their situation out of court.

 A couple decide to get a divorce, but argue over who gets what. Instead of waging legal war against each other, they decide to work out their agreement with a divorce mediator. The mediator uncovers what the needs and interests are for both the husband and wife as well as separating the emotions from the problems at hand.

 Two nations, on the verge of war after failed negotiations, agree to peace-talks. Neither side trusts the other side, so they ask for the help of a neutral representative to act as mediator for their talks. Through the mediator, both stake-holding countries are able to work out an agreement and avoid war.

© Copyright 2006 by Tristan Loo. All rights reserved.

What's the Difference Between a Negotiation, Arbitration, and Mediation?
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For over 10 years, Tristan Loo has inspired, motivated, and brought success to the lives of the people he’s touched. Successful in his own right, Tristan has competed athletically against Olympians as a world-class gymnast, saved lives as a police officer, authored numerous Personal Development and Interpersonal Communication books and articles, and is a highly sought-after Personal Development Coach. Tristan is the founder of the Synergy Institute, a San Diego based Personal Development Firm. His philosophy of passionate living and helping others fulfill their dreams has continually been the driving force that has placed him well above the industry standard. Visit Tristan's website at http://www.synergyinstituteonline.com or by email at info@synergyinstituteonline.com

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Negotiation Success is in the Planning

The drama and theatrics one sees during conflict and confrontations easily leads one to believe that negotiation success lies in persuasiveness, eloquence, and clever maneuvering. What good court room drama would be without these critical factors for entertainment? While these elements may be the enjoyable part for some negotiators, and certainly are the entertaining portions for observers, they are not the keys to negotiation success.

This next quote was so important in "Essentials of Negotiation" by Lewicki, Saunders, Barry, and Minton that the authors italicized it. I point this out because I want you to pay attention to this closely, "The foundation for success in negotiation is not in the game playing or the dramatics. The dominant force for success in negotiation is in the planning that takes place prior to the dialogue." Yes, the tactics used during negotiations are important, and success is also influenced by how you react to the other side and implement your own negotiation strategy. However, the foundation for success is preparation.

There are many ways one can prepare for negotiation, and no one way will be perfect for everyone. By sharing different strategies, I hope you can absorb what is useful for your negotiation style and decide what planning steps are needed for the negotiations you partake in.

Negotiation Success is in the Planning

In the "Essentials of Negotiation" the authors set forth ten areas to focus on during effective planning for both distributive and integrative negotiations. I want to briefly share and comment on the ten areas for you to consider:

1. Defining the Issues. Analyze the overall situation and define the issues to be discussed. The more detailed, the better.

2. Assembling the Issues and Defining the Bargaining Mix. Assemble the issues that have been defined into a comprehensive list. The combination of lists from each side of the negotiation determines the bargaining mix. Large bargaining mixes allow for many possible components and arrangements for settlement. However, large bargaining mixes can also lengthen negotiations because of the many possible combinations to consider. Therefore, the issues must be prioritized.

3. Defining Your Interests. After you have defined the issues, you should define the underlying interests and needs. Remember, positions are what a negotiator wants. Interests are why you want them. Asking "why" questions will help define interests.

4. Knowing Your Limits and Alternatives. Limits are the point where you stop the negotiation rather than continue. Settlements beyond this point are not acceptable. You need to know your walkaway point. Alternatives are other deals you could achieve and still meet your needs. The better alternatives you have, the more power you have during negotiations.

5. Setting Targets and Openings. The target point is where you realistically expect to achieve a settlement. You can determine your target by asking what outcome you would be comfortable with, or at what point would you be satisfied. The opening bid or asking price usually represents the best deal you can hope to achieve. One must be cautious in inflating opening bids to the point where they become self-defeating because they are too unrealistic.

6. Assessing My Constituents. When negotiating in a professional context, there are most likely many constituents to the negotiation. Things to consider include the direct actors, the opposite actors, indirect actors, interested observers, and environmental factors.

7. Analyzing the Other Party. Meeting with the other side allows you to learn what issues are important to them. Things to consider include their current resources, interests, and needs. In addition, consider their objectives, alternatives, negotiation style, authority, and likely strategy and tactics.

8. What Strategy Do I want to Pursue? Most likely you are always determining your strategy, and have been all along the planning stages. However, remember not to confuse strategy with tactics. Determine if your engagement strategy will be Competition (Distributive Bargaining), Collaboration (Integrative Negotiation), or Accommodative Negotiation.

9. How Will I Present the Issues to the Other Party? You should present your case clearly and provide ample supporting facts and arguments. You will also want to refute the other party's arguments with your own counterarguments. There are many ways to do this, and during your preparation you should determine how best to present your issues.

10. What Protocol Needs to Be Followed in This Negotiation? The elements of protocol or process that should be considered include the agenda, the location of the negotiation, the time period of negotiation, other parties who may be involved in the negotiation, what might be done if the negotiation fails, and how will the parties keep track of what is agreed to? In most cases, it is best to discuss the procedural issues before the major substantive issues are raised.

There are many different planning templates. Each emphasizes different elements in different sequences. These ten areas represent what the authors of "Essentials of Negotiation" believe to be the most important steps in the planning process. There is more to each of these areas than I had space to describe in this column. However, if you consider each of these ten areas during your planning, you will be well prepared for the challenges you will face during negotiations.

Negotiation Success is in the Planning
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Alain Burrese, J.D. is a mediator/attorney with Bennett Law Office P.C. and an author/speaker through his own company Burrese Enterprises Inc. He writes and speaks about a variety of topics focusing on the business areas of negotiation and success principles as well as self-defense and safety topics. He is the author of Hard-Won Wisdom From the School of Hard Knocks, several instructional dvds, and numerous articles. You can find out more about Alain Burrese at his websites http://www.burrese.com or http://www.bennettlawofficepc.com

Monday, November 19, 2012

Styles Of Negotiation

Our style of negotiation will be influenced by the style of the other party. If both
sides are adversarial; there will be little trust between the two parties, however, if
one side decides to be co-operative, there is a danger the other side will use this
apparent sign of weakness to their advantage.

Co-operative bargaining has the advantage of being a more efficient style of
negotiation, however certain rules have to be followed by both parties for it to
work. Let us look at the two styles of bargaining and their features:

Features Of Adversarial Bargaining:

Styles Of Negotiation

o Each side takes up a position and defends it.

o Opening bids are set at unrealistic levels; too high or too low, in order to give

room for manoeuvre.

o Movement is small or non-existent until later on in the negotiation.

o Tactics are used to gain short term advantage.

o Too much emphasis is placed on trust. .This really is my best price!

o Information is withheld, or misrepresented.

o The outcome is often "win-lose", or "lose-lose".

o The more aggressive negotiator usually does best.

o This style does not encourage long term, mutually beneficial relationships.

o Neither side asks enough questions, or explores alternatives in sufficient depth.

Features Of Co-Operative Bargaining:

o Each side recognizes that the other has needs and feelings and accepts implicit rules.

o Objective measures are taken of what is fair and reasonable.

o Trust is not an issue as either side is willing to share information.

o This style is friendly, but not soft. There is a willingness to trade concessions.

o There is a clear, communicable strategy.

o Bad behavior is punished.

o This style involves creative problem solving.

o It encourages long term, mutually profitable relationships.

o Each side asks more questions and explores alternatives, rather than taking up fixed positions.

o The usual outcome is "win-win".

Copyright © 2007 Jonathan Farrington. All rights reserved

Styles Of Negotiation
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Jonathan Farrington is the Managing Partner of The jfa Group. To find out more about the author, subscribe to his newsletter for dedicated business professionals or to read his weekly blog, visit: http://www.jonathanfarrington.com

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Letter of Credit - Negotiation

Negotiation means the standard procedures that bank performs which includes checking of the documents and giving value to the seller. The issuing bank may issue the LC available by negotiation with a nominated bank or it may allow the LC to be freely negotiated with any bank. In the first case, the beneficiary, that is the seller, has to present the documents only to that bank, which is the nominated bank. Nevertheless, the nominated bank is not bound to negotiate if it has not undertaken a separate payment obligation to the seller.

The nominated bank may simply refuse to negotiate the documents drawn under the LC. This is because, by having been nominated by the issuing bank, it does not constitute and undertaking to negotiate. If, however, the nominated bank has added its confirmation to the LC at the request of the issuing bank, thereby undertaking a separate payment obligation to the seller, then it has to honour its undertaking and pay for the documents drawn under the LC if they are in order.

LC which does not nominate any bank is normally available for negotiation with any bank in the country of the seller which is willing to negotiate the documents. There are 4 types of negotiation practiced by banks around the world. They are:

Letter of Credit - Negotiation

1. Negotiation without recourse
2. Negotiation with recourse
3. Negotiation against indemnity
4. Negotiation under reserve

A seller may present his documents drawn under LC directly to either:

a) The issuing Bank (bank that issues the LC) or
b) The confirming bank (bank that adds its confirmation at the request of the issuing bank) or
c) To his own bank.

If the seller chooses to present the documents directly either to the ISSUING BANK or to the CONFIRMING BANK, these banks make payment WITHOUT RECOURSE to him. Meaning, the payment that has been paid to the seller shall not in any way become claimable by these banks in the event the documents are found not in order after making such payment.

These banks cannot have recourse to the seller because by issuing or confirming the LC, they have taken upon themselves the risk that the party from whom reimbursement is to be obtained may become insolvent.

Letter of Credit - Negotiation
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Wan Nawawi Hassan is a former lecturer/facilitator with a number of commercial banks in Malaysia. You can visit his blog at http://infodagang2u.blogspot.com

Monday, November 12, 2012

Writing an RFP (Request for Proposal)

A while back, a potential client provided me with some general details of the writing work he wanted me to do for his company. Then he asked me to send him a proposal.

Proposal?! I panicked as I tried to confirm with him what he meant by that since I had never done one before, at least not as a freelancer.

I must've not really wanted to pursue this opportunity since I didn't bother to do research or follow up with the company after submitting a contract instead of a proposal. A little time passed, I came across an article on writing RFPs (Request for Proposal). Ding! The light bulb went on. This guy verbally gave me his RFP and wanted a written response.

Writing an RFP (Request for Proposal)

When a company needs a project to be completed by a contractor or outside source, they write a RFP. This is a formal document describing the project, how the contract companies should respond, how the proposals will be reviewed, and contact information. Often, the company documents the submission guidelines to make it easier for them to compare responses. There are no specific standards or guidelines for creating the RFP, but government agencies usually strict standards they follow when conducting the proposal process.

Outside companies read the RFP and write a proposal (a bid) explaining how they can best provide and meet those needs. When writing the proposal, the company should closely follow the guidelines established in the RFP to avoid being removed from consideration for the potential project.

A typical proposal contains:

Executive summary - summary of the entire proposal Statement of need - why project is necessary Project description - How project will be implemented and evaluated Organization information Project schedule Budget Conclusion

My situation was an informal version of all this. The client gave me a high level overview of what I might do for him. If I knew then what I know now, I would've written up a description of the client's needs and how I would complete the work in meeting those needs.

Small businesses would likely do a proposal in between the one I got and the complex government required ones. Most small businesses will be prompted to write a proposal when approaching a client. The client may ask you to submit a proposal outlining what you can do for them. In this case, write a proposal including the elements of a typical proposal and keep it short and to the point especially if the client is not a large company.

There are examples of RFPs and responses peppered throughout the Web, but which one you can learn from depends on the type of work involved. A proposal can be two pages or as big as a book. Rely on your favorite search engine and do the research to create an unbeatable proposal.

Writing an RFP (Request for Proposal)
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Meryl K. Evans, Content Maven, is Editor-in-Chief of eNewsletter Journal and The Remediator Security Digest. She's a slave to a MarketingProfs weekly column and a Web design reference guide at InformIT. She is the author of the popular e-report, How to Start a Business Blog and Build Traffic. Visit her site at http://www.meryl.net/blog/ for free newsletters, articles, and tips.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

What Causes Anger?

Anger is a strong emotion of displeasure caused by some type of grievance that is either real or perceived to be real by a person. The cognitive behavior theory attributes anger to several factors such as past experiences, behavior learned from others, genetic predispositions, and a lack of problem-solving ability. To put it more simply, anger is caused by a combination of two factors: an irrational perception of reality ("It has to be done my way") and a low frustration point ("It's my way or no way"). Anger is an internal reaction that is perceived to have a external cause. Angry people almost always blame their reactions on some person or some event, but rarely do they realize that the reason they are angry is because of their irrational perception of the world. Angry people have a certain perception and expectation of the world that they live in and when that reality does not meet their expectation of it, then they become angry.

It is important to understand that not all anger is unhealthy. Anger is one of our most primitive defense mechanisms that protects and motivates us from being dominated or manipulated by others. It gives us the added strength, courage, and motivation needed to combat injustice done against us or to others that we love. However, if anger is left uncontrolled and free to take over the mind and body at any time, then anger becomes destructive.

Why We Need to Control Anger

What Causes Anger?

Just like a person who is under the control of a street drug---a person under the influence of anger cannot rationalize, comprehend, or make good decisions because anger distorts logical reasoning into blind emotion. You become unable to think clearly and your emotions take control of your actions. Physiologically speaking, anger enacts the fight or flight response in our brain, which increases our blood pressure and releases adrenaline into our bloodstream, thereby increasing our strength and pain threshold. Anger makes us think of only two things: (1) Defend, or (2) Attack. Neither of these options facilitates a good negotiation.

Internal Sources of Anger

Our internal sources of anger come from our irrational perceptions of reality. Psychologists have identified four types of thinking that contribute to anger.

1. Emotional reasoning. People who reason emotionally misinterpret normal events and things that other people say as being directly threatening to their needs and goals. People who use emotional reasoning tend to become irritated at something innocent that other people tell them because they perceive it as an attack on themselves. Emotional reasoning can lead to dysfunctional anger in the long run.

2. Low frustration tolerance. All of us at some point have experienced a time where our tolerance for frustration was low. Often stress-related anxiety lowers our tolerance for frustration and we begin to perceive normal things as threats to our well-being or threats to our ego.

3. Unreasonable expectations. When people make demands, they see things as how they should be and not as they really are. This lowers their frustration tolerance because people who have unreasonable expectations expect others to act a certain way, or for uncontrollable events to behave in a predictable manner. When these things do not go their way, then anger, frustration, and eventually depression set in.

4. People-rating. People-rating is an anger-causing type of thinking where the person applies a derogatory label on someone else. By rating someone as a "bitch" or a "bastard," it dehumanizes them and makes it easier for them to become angry at the person.

External Sources Of Anger

There are a hundreds of internal and external events that can make us angry, but given the parameters of a negotiating situation, we can narrow these factors down to four general events.

1. The person makes personal attacks against us. The other side attacks you along with the problem in the form of verbal abuse.

2. The person attacks our ideas. The other side chops down our ideas, opinions, and options.

3. The person threatens our needs. The person threatens to take away a basic need of ours if they do not get their way i.e. "I'll make sure you'll never work in this city again."

4. We get frustrated. Our tolerance level for getting things done might be low or affected by any number of environmental factors in our lives.

Factors That Lower Our Frustration Tolerance

1. Stress / Anxiety. When our stress-level increases, our tolerance for frustration decreases. This is why there are so many domestic disputes and divorces over financial problems.

2. Pain. Physical and emotional pain lowers our frustration tolerance. This is because we are so focused on taking care of our survival needs, that we do not have time for anything or anyone else.

3. Drugs / Alcohol. Drugs and alcohol affect how our brain processes information and can make a person more irritable or bring forward repressed emotions or memories that can trigger anger.

4. Recent irritations. Recent irritations can also be called "having a bad day." It's the little irritations that add up during the course of the day that lower our tolerance for frustration. Recent irritations can be: stepping in a puddle, spilling coffee on your shirt, being late for work, being stuck in a traffic jam, having a flat tire.

Recognizing the Physiological Signs of Anger

By recognizing the physiological signs of anger, we can attune ourselves to know when it is time to take measures to make sure that our level of anger does not get out of control. Here are some symptoms of anger:

1. Unconscious tensing of muscles, especially in the face and neck.

2. Teeth grinding

3. Breathing rate increases dramatically

4. Face turns red and veins start to become visible due to an increase in blood pressure

5. Face turns pale

6. Sweating

7. Feeling hot or cold

8. Shaking in the hands

9. Goosebumps

10. Heart rate increases

11. Adrenaline is released into your system creating a surge of power.

Am I Right to be Angry?

Damn right you are. You have your own perception and expectation of the world that you live in and when the reality that you live in fails to meet your expectations, then yes you have the right to be angry. Afterall, if everyone thought alike, then the world would be a pretty dull place to live. You are going to run into situations that you don't enjoy. You are going to run into people who don't respect your views and ideas. The feeling of anger is totally justified according to your beliefs and so don't repress or deny those feelings.

Having to right to feel angry does not mean that you have the right to lash out in anger by attacking the other person. You can't change the views of other people to conform to your own because, like you, they have their own right to uphold their view of the world. The best thing you can do is recognize your anger and focus it on the problem instead of your counterpart.

Key Points

Being angry or frustrated is just like being under the influence of a drug. It prevents you from rationalizing and thinking logically.

Anger is caused by a combination of an irrational perception of reality and a low frustration point.

Anger is a natural response and you have every right to be angry, but you must learn to keep that anger in check during a negotiation because once you react in any negotiation, then you lose the agreement.

What Causes Anger?
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Tristan J. Loo is an experienced negotiator and an expert in conflict resolution. He uses his law enforcement experience to train others in the prinicples of defusing conflict and reaching agreements. Visit the Street Negotiation website at http://www.streetnegotiation.com or contact tristan at: tristan@streetnegotiation.com

Monday, November 5, 2012

Strong Negotiation Skills Help You Sell

Negotiation is a key part of the sales process, especially when you are involved in a complex sale. The goal of a successful negotiation is to maximize the perceived value achieved by each of the participating parties. A good outcome will stand the test of time, promoting long term relationships and open communications.

These steps will help you improve your negotiation skills:

Preparation
Get ready for a negotiation by having a clear idea of what is important to you. Answer these questions:

Strong Negotiation Skills Help You Sell

What parts of the deal must be included and are non-negotiable? What are your alternatives if this deal falls through? At what point, or under what circumstances, will you know it is time to walk away from this deal? Where is there some flexibility in the current deal? For example, what could you remove from the deal if asked to reduce the price? What could you add to the deal, at a very low price to yourself, that the customer would consider valuable?

When you answer the questions, note reasons and information you are willing to share with the other party. For example, if something is non-negotiable, why is it important to you and why is it difficult to be flexible on this point?

Completing this exercise will give you a clear idea of what you want from the negotiation and should open your mind to possible scenarios.

Now set your responses aside, and repeat the exercise, giving your best guess as to how your customer will respond to each question. Once done, review both sets of answers. Look for places where agreement is likely. Look for gaps where compromise or creativity may be needed.

Negotiation
Set the tone for the negotiation with relaxed, good feelings. Let the other party know you want to reach an agreement and are prepared to listen and be creative as needed.

Start with the points that will likely be agreed to right away. Begin building an agreed-upon list.

Progress to points where more discussion is needed. For each of these points:

Listen carefully to what the other person is saying. Ask questions to get to the reasons behind the words. Calmly and clearly present your perspective. Attempt to find an acceptable compromise using give and take.

Cycle through all of the points that need discussion and adjustment. As you reach agreement on each point, add it to your agreed-upon list.

Price
Price is almost always the final, and often most emotion-charged part of a negotiation. It does not have to be. You can handle it in either of two ways:

Include price as part of the discussion while building your agreed-upon list. Quote your final price once the agreed-upon list is completed.

At this point you should have good rapport and open communication with your customer. He may still ask you to reduce the price "just because."

You may have some flexibility in the price and may be willing to give your customer a price reduction for no reason. This is not a good idea. If you do this, you are telling your customer that your first price was not your best offer. And you are training him to expect price reductions for the asking in future.

A better way to handle this situation is to go over the agreed-upon list and ask your customer what he is willing to give up in return for the price reduction. You can also turn this around and ask what he is willing to add. For example, a testimonial or case study may be quite valuable to you and will cost your customer very little.

While wrapping up the negotiation, remember:

Nothing is final until both parties agree on the entire deal. Whenever you give something up, try to get something in return.

Once agreement is reached, quickly review the deal to make sure there are no misunderstandings.

Then, shake on it, document your agreement, and have a celebration.

After the Negotiation
Congratulate yourself and the other party for the good work you have done. Follow up with a big thank you and look for ways to continue and build your relationship. Let a little time pass, then revisit the work you did with your customer. Get feedback on what worked well and what can be improved. Be honest, be open, and always look to deliver great value. You will find that future business dealings become more productive and proceed more smoothly.

Strong Negotiation Skills Help You Sell
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Check What Are The Top Cooking Books in Last 90 Days Best Cheap Deal!
Check For Cookbooks Best Sellers 2012 Discount OFFER!
Check for Top 100 Most Popular Books People Are Buying Daily Price Update!
Check For 100 New Release & BestSeller Books For Your Collection

Judy Downing is a small business coach, consultant, and freelance writer. She shares tips, techniques and strategies with small business owners to clarify and enhance their customer and business practices. Visit her website at http://www.CustomerApproach.com or email her at judy@customerapproach.com.